I have been thinking about this for quite some time. After many of my friends diagnosed me with homosexuality, I have come to the conclusion that if everyone was just a little bit more gay the world would work a lot smoother. First off if guys were a little more gay I think that it would greatly increase the lucrativeness of our society and create a lot more balance in the world. If guys were just slightly more gay they would have a lot less hygiene problems, like smelling like ass all day. Who cares about how someone smells? If you’ve ever been sitting next to a guy who smells like he’s been swimming in his own sweat for hours on end, and then he starts hitting on your friend who’s sitting on the other side of you, you’d probably realize what a terrible condition poor hygiene is. Not only is it unhealthy but it is also very unattractive. If every guy at your school started smelling good, or even like nothing at all, I’m sure that you and I would like to hang out with them a lot more frequently than we would now. Disease is also a concern but I doubt that much would change just from a few baths/showers.
As well as creating a more sociable aura I think that a little bit more of fashion sense could help. I know that fashionableness doesn’t come naturally, but it is not hard to obtain. Just imagine for a moment what a nice environment that school or work would be like, if every man in the building was wearing something nice that looked nice on him. It’s not that hard. The one thing that I see that bothers me is guys that don’t even try to wear something that fits. I think the main reason that no guy tries to look nice is because it would tarnish his masculineness. “I can’t wear that, it makes me look gay.” Who cares. I wore a pink sweater that was almost skin tight and really short dress shorts one day, and at least three girls told me that i looked hot, not even mockingly. I had no fear of being called gay by someone because I know that there is nothing wrong with it. If people weren’t afraid of hurting their image I think that they would get a lot more action.
Diversity would be improved. Most of the gay people I know are easy going and don’t give a crap what anyone else does. How awesome would it be if every one was hella lax instead of lame and on your ass about stuff all the time. Every one would feel a lot less threatened by each other because instead of thinking ” She/he’s moving in on my action, She/he’s so much hotter than me” you’d just think “damn, what a hottie. I sure hope I get to be friends with that fine ass” And you wouldn’t end up being all protective and lame.
It would also partially solve the problem of the greatly increasing population. If every one was more gay they would feel much less obliged to bang their partner as much. Though the want for children would be just as great. There would be more control for those who have unwanted/unplaned/unexpected children.
In short, I am very radical and want wide spread great change in order for my strange plans to work.
There've been 18 whole comments
10:38 pm on 11/2/2005 1. SuperDave
A guy looking like crap is nothing special, but a guy that puts work in to his appearence is seen as gay. Alternatively, if a girl doesn’t spend time on her apperance she is a neo-feminist. I’m fine with peoples’ appearence being shitty, but let’s at least have a little equality. We should allow anyone to look like shit, if they are so inclined.
On an unrelated note: if everyone were gay, in my opinion at least, they’d feel just as obligated to bang their partiner; though perhaps less biologically inclined to have kids.
1:29 am on 11/3/2005 2. Jeff
LMAO
10:11 pm on 11/3/2005 3. Nella
I agree that people acting gay would result in a far better community, and that the outlook that homosexuals generally have on life is far better. However, a society that is entirely gay raises some issues. If everyone who is gay is truely gay, and never has sex with the opposite gender, then if gay is at all hereditary, then the gay gene will be extemenated swiftly and without mercy. If gay is a nurtured trait, there’s still the issue of wanting to pass one’s genes forward, which is hard to overcome without a uterus handy. I think acting gay is far superior to actually being gay.
12:27 am on 11/4/2005 4. Jackie
Way to be all scientific Ian!..lol…What I want to know is your opinion on girls being gay…the post concentrates only on guys. So are all the guys going to be gay and the girls just left out of the picture?
2:59 am on 11/7/2005 5. Adarsh Bhat
Girls being/acting gay doesn’t make them look any better (perhaps worse :P)
6:15 pm on 11/7/2005 6. Carie
Well there’s a fine example of a double standard :S
10:45 pm on 11/7/2005 7. PocketPC news
yeah man I hate smelly guys
4:08 pm on 11/8/2005 8. Anonymous
Isn’t this a bit sterotypical?
4:53 pm on 11/8/2005 9. pooftabasher
you know that the word gay means happy….sooooo if your going to be elite and say that just because a person is a homosexual they are neater, you are so wrong.
your mistaking beinga yuppie with being a homo.
Seriously, when you electricity turns of and your lipstick melts “how will you ever cope without unreality tv?”
GROW UP you silly person.
and you psychosis about wearing womens clothes, makes you a transvestite not a poofta, just admit it you like fucking other guys and that all there is to it
8:48 pm on 11/8/2005 10. Sam
For the record;
Dictionary.com defines gay as:
1. Of, relating to, or having a sexual orientation to persons of the same sex.
2. Showing or characterized by cheerfulness and lighthearted excitement; merry.
You are incorrect in saying that gay only means happy, the word gay has multiple meanings, one of which is happy, but like many words in the English language it has multiple meanings both of which are accepted in today’s society.
Am I the only one who thinks that makes no sense?
4:05 pm on 11/12/2005 11. Baron
It’s a great idea, but I’d like to see you pitch it to Bush, or in fact, any other short-sighted person =P
12:12 pm on 12/9/2005 12. Mike Purvis
This piece amused me. I’m straight as an arrow myself, but I’ve also been asked a couple times recently if I was gay. (mostly by people wondering why I don’t have a lady-friend… ha ha, welcome to second year engineering)
But I enjoy cooking, for example, and I’m pretty good at it. On the other hand, I don’t give a whole lot of attention to my clothing. I like things that fit and look decent, but dressing really well can be expensive. It’s partly just a matter of sensible male economics.
10:37 pm on 4/15/2006 13. janaki
CellulitisCellulitis is an inflammation of the connective tissue underlying the skin, that can be caused by a bacterial infection. Cellulitis can be caused by normal skin flora or by exogenous bacteria
1:07 am on 7/31/2006 14. dave
how ridiculous.
12:34 am on 10/4/2006 15. Pantry
Personally, I never use more than a single link in the comment I post because doing so can trigger spam catchers if the user has that plugin activated, whereas a single link will not.
10:46 am on 5/19/2007 16. Anonymous
i want to hav sex
8:37 am on 5/23/2007 17. gsderv
Hi, I have been looking for sites like this for a long time.
I’ll be back.
10:37 am on 4/13/2008 18. diane
There is nothing more beautiful than the union of a man and a woman. That’s what God has intented it to be, NOthing can compare to it.A woman and a man give birth to a gay person, not the other way around. What God says, no man can’t erase. God condenmms homosexuality and that is true, even if all the world agree with it, it never gonna be right.