The sound of hoofbeats 'cross the glade Good folk lock up your son and daughter Beware the deadly flashing blade Unless you want to end up shorter Black Adder, Black Adder He rides a pitch black steed Black Adder, Black Adder He's very bad indeed Black, His gloves are finest mole Black, His codpeice made of metal His horse is blacker than a hole His pot is blacker than his kettle Black Adder, Black Adder With many a cunning plan Black Adder, Black Adder You horrid little man
Some things are too good to be forgotten, I have made it my life’s mission to bring back the following 10 items:
If you also want to bring something awesome back, say so.
Very recently I noticed that everything sucks these days. I just seems like you can’t enjoy anything without it also sucking to some extent. Everything that makes you happy is either immoral, illegal, or makes you fat. The sun gives you cancer, the water poisons you, the air is full of toxins, the food is full of “bad” cholesterol. Yet we’ve been eating and breathing since before anyone can remember.
People have too much to fear: death, public speaking, heights, sickness. You know what I am most afraid of in this world? Spiders. That’s right, I’m Arachnophobic. I ain’t proud of it, but it’s the truth. Everybody is afraid of something, I’m actually quite glad I’m not afraid of daylight or something big like that.
People can’t get it into their brains that we’re all going to kick the bucket at some point. All you panophobics out there can suck it, because I just don’t give a damn anymore. If I die at age 20 from an infected kidney, what the hell, I had a good run.
Recently I was thumbing through the dictionary, on the crapper of course, I came across the C’s. Under the pronunciation, I noticed that almost all the words beggining with the letter C, were marked with the pronuciation of K, those exceptions were words like Caesar that start with an S sound. Looking though the rest of the dictionary I found that the letter C either makes a K or S sound, which means that C could potentailly be replaced by K and S. So I strongly believe that the letter C should be removed from the English language all together, if there is no sound it really makes.
Knowing the crowd I’m speaking to I am fully aware that some of you will find the minor loophole that I too came across. Although I assure you that the loophole can be fixed by some tweaking to the letter K or perhaps S. You have three days to find the answer, and if you find it, please don’t make a comment, email me for the sake of messing with people.
Some people these days say they’re fed up with the privileged in this country hitting the big time with their tax breaks and lavish mansions in the Hamptons, but guess what? If you’re one of those people complaining about the privileged, you probably are privileged! This is the great hypocracy that runs rampant in America today. What a lot of the people complaining about the well-to-do don’t seem to realize is that they have running water. Many people in “developing” countries don’t have what we take for granted every day, like water from the tap. Even a middle class suburbanite is a prince by worldly standards.
From the time a band of cavemen banded together and formed a little thing called civilzation, there has been an elite group. Whether it was the high-priest that got extra food because the gods said so, or the upper upper class of today that gets tax-breaks because the govenment said so. To all my fellow middle-classmen I say, live it up, you got delt a good hand. If you spend all your time sulking around because some lucky bastard got delt a better hand, you’ll never appericate your own cards.