So why am I so happy about this “accomplishment” which any well-off language student would snicker at? I believe that it is because it took me the whole three hours, because every other word had to be looked up. I worked obscenely hard on that measly page of foreign type, and now I’m feeling the self-gratification that comes from pouring your whole heart and soul into a project.

Earlier on this year my English class took a practice SAT essay with a prompt that asked “Do we value only what we struggle for?” If I was ever asked the same question again, I can assure you that my three hour long Spanish page would hold a star role in one of my body paragraphs. This accomplishment, though seemingly not a huge one, symbolizes my stake in hard work. I value effort more that anything, and challenging myself, as with this paper, creates my proudest moments.

Actually, I’d have to say that the proudest moment in my life occured when I was in preschool. I was out at recess when I felt a prick in my finger, looked down, and saw that a fat wooden splinter had wedged itself under my skin. Did I cry? No. Did I run to my teacher? No. Was I an invincible preschool-age Jackie? For the moment, yes! I made my way over to the play-structure, climbed aboard, and proceeded to pull out the splinter–with my bare hands!! No help, no tweezers, just me and my ity-bity fingers. Looking back, I see how insignificant this feat was, but at the time I was flooded with self-pride. You cannot imagine how proud of myself I was at that moment; it was…magical. (Oh…the good old days…)

So my message:

Love the little things, especially the little things you work hard for.

I wish that I was more witty

That I had more to say to the world

That I felt was worth saying to the world

I wish I had a cause to follow

Something to dig my heels into

where I could say

YES!!!

This is my opinion,

And nobody is taking it away from me.

I wish that I knew my direction

Whether I’ve actually found my calling

Or has it all been push-shove-bang

A simple north or south would be nice

I wish that I was a bird, that I could fly

Just because it would be totally awesome

I wish for all the typical good-will causes

the wish for peace

the wish for stopping world hunger

the wish for the cure to cancer

and I wish I wasn’t compelled to wish for them

I wish it didn’t seem like a duty

I wish I was exciting
Spontaneity, adventure

Stepping out to the edge of the plank

And staring the crocodiles straight in the eye

I wish I was proud of my work

that I could write past the classroom

that I could entertain and inspire

that I would have no hesitancy

Tagging my name on this…whatever it is

I wish that I was a dancer, a musician, a painter

Because every time I see art

I feel that my heart is on stage

I wish I knew what I am trying to say with this

Just ’cause it would be nice.

So I could explain myself

When the questions come flooding

I wish I had a purpose

Something worth doing

worth worrying about

Something beyond just getting me into college

And I wish that I wasn’t still wishing

Because what good is wishing

when there are things to be done

Problem is, I don’t exactly know what to post about. What commentary do I have about this wide world? What purpose am I serving here? What is the meaning of life?

In history class we have been studying the Industrial Revolution and how it radically changed the lifestyle of those affected by the shift to industry. One of those shifts came in the arts. Throughout the ages art has always been produced to serve a purpose. The KING comes to you and says, “Hey you lousy underling, paint this picture of me and MAKE IT GOOD or I’ll chop off your head!” so you oblige, quite happy with your head and wanting very much to keep it attached to your shoulders. Mr. Bishop comes to you and says, “Hey you sinful servant, make this sculpture to glorify God or you’ll go to hell!” so you make the sculpture hoping very much that you will not have to endure flames for all eternity. Then suddenly, sometime surrounding the beginning of the Industrial Age, someone produces something out of the blue, something for themselves, something because they enjoyed making it. Gasp! No pending death, no firey threshold, no MONEY? No, because they enjoy the process. Hmm…a novel idea, doing something for the sake of doing it-doing something for the measly reason that it’s enjoyable. Thus, art for art’s sake was born

**Note to those heartless critics (I know you’re out there)-I KNOW above processes did not occur exactly as I depicted them…but please, just try to adhere to my attempt at comedy**

Now to my point, or rather the absence of my point. Just like those novel artists in the 1800s, I am creating art for the sake of creating art. Maybe not quite art, but the idea is the same. I am posting for the sake of posting. I am expressing my love of saying what I want to say, regardless of what I have to say. Yay for me!!! (hmm…maybe too carried away there, but w/e-it’s my post)

Doing something for the sheer enjoyment of it is a relatively new development to society. It may have been around before, but did not become quite widespread until after the Industrial Revolution when society, especially the middle class bougeoisie, began to aquire excess cash and leisure time. People began to go out to the opera, watch ball games, pay attention to fashion, etc. And why? Well mostly because they could, but also because they enjoyed such things. It was a source of pleasure. And ever since then our proposed aim is to spend time this way…pursuit of happiness and all that jazz. However, how many of us city (or suburbia) dwellers actually follow through with this. I know for the common overacheiver, such as myself, most of the time is spent working, toiling to reach the ever present GOAL, which most of the time just propels us to more work and punishment. Maybe you do enjoy your work, but think of when someone asks you the question “Why?” How do you answer? To make money, to get that A, to get playing time. That’s the right answer…working hard for a cause is one of the most wonderful, one of the most fulfilling things you can do. My request is you take each of those cases where you could be asked WHY you are doing something and see whether you could pull off the radical answer, “because I enjoy it.”

We could all use a couple of those racked up.

And now back to your business. School starts on Tuesday (at least for Albany) and I’m sure all those out there with jobs are back to the grindstone tomorrow or the next day as well. Resolutions have been made, and whether they will be kept or not is a test of endurance. Days will go on as they have before…at the moment cold and rainy. Not that this is bad–it just seems like New Years sweep by faster now, and any time now they will become just days, regular old days. Sure maybe they’re spiced up with some music and dancing, but it passes and January 2 plops you right down where you were before. If you think about it there is nothing special about the 1st of January…its just another first of the month, just like any other 12 AM is the first moment of the new day. But we have come to choose this particular day as the one on which we make our celebrations and resolutions…and so here go mine.

Time continues. The old year has passed like the one before and the new one will with equal or greater speed. So what am I going to do about it? MAKE THE BEST OF IT. or try to anyways. My resolution for the new year is to take charge of my life, to find some direction to urge myself onto. Time may pass, but I don’t have to spend the time waiting for something or someone to come around the corner to add a spike to the flow of time. I want to try some new things, meditate on the meaning of life, take control and not let my activities control what I do. Call me ambitious, but I’ll do my best. Looking at it maybe I should have chosen something simpler-like making my bed every day

Soooo, what are your resolutions for the next 365 days?

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wish you a most excellent 2006

It’s all about SPIRIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Last year at homecoming I was the biggest loser ever…maybe I dressed up for one of the days-color war- and that only involved wearing a pink shirt. BORING!! So this year there were a few changes. Each day I played up to the fullest- my pink costume for color war was augmented with hot pink shorts, pink socks, running shoes w/ pink on them, pink hair accessories, and somewhat pink sleeves. I attended all the activities (that I was around for) and even went to the homecoming game…even though it’s football, not particularly my favorite sport. AND GUESS WHO HAD FUN AT HOMECOMING THIS YEAR!!!! Me, that’s who.

It may take a little of looking like a complete idiot to get yourself into the spirit of the moment, but it’s ok…especially because even when you DO look like a complete idiot, everyone else wishes that they could be you…wishes that they wouldn’t mind looking like a complete idiot so they can steal a little bit of that excitement you’ve got. So scream down the 2 ft. water slide, wear a grass skirt and coconut bra on hawaiian day, make people laugh and you will too. The task now is to plan something spectacular for Halloween…