1. Down with Big Brother!

By | November 30th, 2005 | General | Rant | 8 Comments

[...] there are some words that have come through the long and hard process of developing some color, and our immediate response is to drop them from our language.

I have finally found the latest shitburger that upsets me so much I cannot help but post an angry rant. For some reason, there are some words that have come through the long and hard process of developing some color, and our immediate response is to drop them from our language. Here are a few examples of words that are no longer usable, or whose meanings have been altered to make them difficult to use:

Factory-replaced by Plant.

Handicapped-replaced by Physically Challenged

Swamp-replaced by Wetland

What the fuck? Supposedly a “factory” suggests a building with looming smokestacks billowing forth vile and odius pollution. I don’t know if you’ve looked lately, but that’s what it is!!! A plant is a beautiful green organism that I have growing in my yard, how dare you defile such a pristine word with an image such as that!!! Changing what you call something ain’t gonna change the thing itself, and if people know better, it shouldn’t change how people think of it, either.

I looked up the definition of “Handicapped.” Know what it is? “Having a condition that restricts one’s ability to function physically” That sounds pretty close to “physically challenged” to me. If “handicapped” is offensive, how could “physically challenged” not be? How can it even be consitered changing the word if you’re simply changing the word to its definition?

The swamp thing arises from these environmentalists who are wishing to save these areas of wetness, and them not wanting to carry around signs saying “Save the Swamp!” Swamp apparently carries an image of a stinky, bug-ridden bog more than the desired marshland of abundant wildlife. …Fuck, i actually agree with this change. Probably should have thought ahead a little better.

Anyway, it still leads me to my point which is that just because a word becomes politically incorrect is no reason to drop it from our language. These words tie into us reading the book “1984″ for English class, in which the negative Utopian society tries to create perfection by writing a new language that inhibits independant thought in every way. Newspeak, the language is called, contains only words that are absolutely necessary to function, any words that express thought or feeling have been dropped. Personally, I’m all for getting my feelings across, and words that have a little emotion behind them assist me greatly with this. Down with Big Brother!

2. Miracle Cures are lame

By | November 24th, 2005 | General | 4 Comments

Population is going to become a larger and larger issue in the future. More and more people are being born and those people are only going to make more babies. One of the problems is what I like to call “The Reverse Darwin Effect.” This effect is what results from more advanced medicine. As out knowledge of human ailments becomes more and more advanced we can save more and more people from death. It is truly amazing.

Unfortunately, many people who are “saved” have problems that doctors really shouldn’t have anything to do with, or medication. The largest of these is Obesity. People who become grossly obese have become eligible for medical treatment. Medicine and all of its branches, I think, should be reserved for ailments that people have no control of. A broken arm, a viral disease, sickle cell, cancer and AIDS are all eligible in my view. Having a habit of eating too much McDonald’s is not. Drug abusers don’t get medical treatment, they go to rehab. Obese people get diet pills and diets. Many of them are so far addicted to high cholesterol foods they don’t even want to do healthy diets and don’t participate. The Atkins Diet is one but it can be effective if applied properly, but who’s supervising?

Some people go so far as to have surgery done to solve their psychological habits. Liposuction is one. Having all your fat sucked out doesn’t improve your health, it lessens your fat. Another much more dangerous and problematic surgery is to have your stomach stapled. In this process ones stomach is literally stapled to itself to decrease its size and therefore storage capacity. The problem with this is the huge loss of absorption area. All that space that used to break down food is no longer available. People who have this surgery done can only eat certain foods and can have very adverse reactions if they eat the wrong ones. But once again it is not a real fix. Even though one is strictly prohibited from many unhealthy foods, people have still been able to find all the high calorie good tasting food and gain back all their pounds. Now they are over weight and have a minute stomach, awesome.

By allowing these people to persist in eating so unhealthily we are doing them a grave disservice. If they can not muster the self control to stop themselves from eating a Big Mac, is it really moral to pamper them by supplying surgery that doesn’t actually work to fix them? It is persisting the week link, the “Reverse Darwin Effect” the week are no longer subjected to the elements, people can go from place to place in cars and elevators (or on those ridiculous little scooters i see people riding in). They don’t have to try, all the answers are given to them, its a business. But by supply such simple answers it destroys any control of population. In the wild “natural” state we humans lived in for so many years all these unhealthy people would die. Stopping those week genes from being continued in the world. Only the strong survived, those that were adapted to the climate. There is no climate anymore. Cold no longer exists with central heating, heat no longer exists with air conditioning; people can live any where.

What happens to all of these “naturally” unfit people, who don’t live up to the ape man standards, if there is a terrible world wide disaster. If there is some kind of disaster that destroys civilization and we have to live off of the carcases of endangered species, will we still feel the urge to help those who do not help themselves? A pandemic is the most eminent of world wide disasters. If the avian flu really blows up, who will be the first to die from it?

The only way to stop obesity is to fight it from its roots. One’s eating. If you eat unhealthy food you get fat. If you don’t exercise you get a little chub but it isn’t that bad. If you mix the two, you have a problem. Get on a good diet and exercise, don’t ask for some kind of miracle cure its in humane.

3. Evolution of a Term

By | November 17th, 2005 | Rant | 26 Comments

English is missing a word. I am always lost whenever I come to point where it would be necessary. When I do come up with a word, I never have confidence in it. And that sucks. It’s time for a new word to replace the void representing the third person gender-neutral singular. Here’s an example:

If an artist wants to be famous, ________ must have unique ideas.

Okay, let us examine the possibilities. If there is any context to suggest one gender or the other, you can use he or she with confidence. But if there is uncertainty, as there usually is, he is the correct choice of olde. I suppose that was the way things used to be. But as any language evolves, popular culture will change words and even the definition of correct grammar. He has become archaic, and even chauvinist. I suppose we have Latin to thank for that. Latin and its brood of romance languages use the masculine form, corresponding to he in English. But I think the English language has moved on.

Around the time of the Women’s Liberation movement, society decided that gender-specific words had to go. Equality for all words! Stewardess became flight attendant. Mailman became mail carrier. The replacement for he became he or she, or sometimes even the radical she. Using he or she became politically correct, and it still is today. It offends no one, it is neutral. But it still sucks. It is three whole words, for one thing. And it sounds very indecisive. The replacement also spawned a corollary, s/he. While you mostly see s/he in writing, it attempts to solve the three-syllable issue. But s/he suffers from a lack of eye-appeal and can take a second to pronounce. The quest continues…

The current trend is to use they, but that is by far the worst. They is just an evasion from the syllabic burden of he or she. It implies a plurality that simply does not exist. English teachers will not accept it, but most of my generation uses it without second thought. That could be remedied if a new word were to take its place.

So, what does that leave us with? We cannot use he, he or she, or they. That leaves us with precisely nothing. That is why I think we need a new word. It would solve all sorts of uncertainty problems. You could finally write in this situation with confidence, instead of rephrasing your sentences. I spent a little while brainstorming a word, and here is what I came up with: Shey.

If an artist wants to be famous, shey must have unique ideas.

It takes getting used to, but it works. It combines all the previous forms of he, she, and they. If someone can come up with a better idea, be my guest. But for now, shey is the solution!

4. We Should Be Gay

By | November 2nd, 2005 | Social | 18 Comments

I have been thinking about this for quite some time. After many of my friends diagnosed me with homosexuality, I have come to the conclusion that if everyone was just a little bit more gay the world would work a lot smoother. First off if guys were a little more gay I think that it would greatly increase the lucrativeness of our society and create a lot more balance in the world. If guys were just slightly more gay they would have a lot less hygiene problems, like smelling like ass all day. Who cares about how someone smells? If you’ve ever been sitting next to a guy who smells like he’s been swimming in his own sweat for hours on end, and then he starts hitting on your friend who’s sitting on the other side of you, you’d probably realize what a terrible condition poor hygiene is. Not only is it unhealthy but it is also very unattractive. If every guy at your school started smelling good, or even like nothing at all, I’m sure that you and I would like to hang out with them a lot more frequently than we would now. Disease is also a concern but I doubt that much would change just from a few baths/showers.Ellen DeGeneres is Gay

As well as creating a more sociable aura I think that a little bit more of fashion sense could help. I know that fashionableness doesn’t come naturally, but it is not hard to obtain. Just imagine for a moment what a nice environment that school or work would be like, if every man in the building was wearing something nice that looked nice on him. It’s not that hard. The one thing that I see that bothers me is guys that don’t even try to wear something that fits. I think the main reason that no guy tries to look nice is because it would tarnish his masculineness. “I can’t wear that, it makes me look gay.” Who cares. I wore a pink sweater that was almost skin tight and really short dress shorts one day, and at least three girls told me that i looked hot, not even mockingly. I had no fear of being called gay by someone because I know that there is nothing wrong with it. If people weren’t afraid of hurting their image I think that they would get a lot more action.

Diversity would be improved. Most of the gay people I know are easy going and don’t give a crap what anyone else does. How awesome would it be if every one was hella lax instead of lame and on your ass about stuff all the time. Every one would feel a lot less threatened by each other because instead of thinking ” She/he’s moving in on my action, She/he’s so much hotter than me” you’d just think “damn, what a hottie. I sure hope I get to be friends with that fine ass” And you wouldn’t end up being all protective and lame.

It would also partially solve the problem of the greatly increasing population. If every one was more gay they would feel much less obliged to bang their partner as much. Though the want for children would be just as great. There would be more control for those who have unwanted/unplaned/unexpected children.

In short, I am very radical and want wide spread great change in order for my strange plans to work.